Pastor Tom is preaching through 1 Peter 3, which includes instructions for husbands and wives. Several years ago, Wayne Grudem and Jon Piper edited a book entitled: Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Ligon Duncan, D.A. Carson, Elisabeth Elliot and many others contributed articles. Grudem and Piper have also released an excellent book (also much shorter . . . and free!) on the same topic. It presents the material in question and answer form. You can download the book from Desiring God. Here are is a quote from the first question:
1. Why do you regard the issue of male and female roles as so important?
. . . God’s gift of complementary manhood and womanhood was exhilarating from the beginning (Genesis 2:23). It is precious beyond estimation. But today it is esteemed lightly and is vanishing like the rain forests we need but don’t love. We believe that what is at stake in human sexuality is the very fabric of life as God wills it to be for the holiness of His people and for their saving mission to the world.
And here are two questions relevant to this week’s sermon regarding the way in which husbands should love their wives:
4. What about marriage? What did you mean (in question 1) by “marriage patterns that do not portray the relationship between Christ and the church”?
We believe the Bible teaches that God means the relationship between husband and wife to portray the relationship between Christ and His church. The husband is to model the loving, sacrificial leadership of Christ, and the wife is to model the glad submission offered freely by the church.
12. Isn’t your stress on leadership in the church and headship in the home contrary to the emphasis of Christ in Luke 22:26, “. . . the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves”?
No. We are trying to hold precisely these two things in Biblical balance, namely, leadership and servanthood. It would be contrary to Christ if we said that servanthood cancels out leadership. Jesus is not dismantling leadership, He is defining it. The very word He uses for “leader” in Luke 22:26 is used in Hebrews 13:17, which says, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as ones who will have to give an account.” Leaders are to be servants in sacrificially caring for the souls of the people. But this does not make them less than leaders, as we see in the words obey and submit. Jesus was no less leader of the disciples when He was on His knees washing their feet than when He was giving them the Great Commission.